None Of Your Friend's Business

We are probably all guilty of this to some degree. Gossiping to your best friend about your latest boo. Whether we are discussing the juicy details of last night's date, kiss, or sexual escapade; or we are dishing about a fantasy (in my case) woman who we were checking out at the mall, we do it. So here's a few problems with it.
1. Often times our friends get envious, curious, or live off our encounters.
2. The person you're dishing about usually wouldn't be comfortable with if they knew you were telling just how good their head game was or wasn't!!!
3. Some people really just don't know how to keep their mouths shut after you've told them something. So now not only does your bf know but her sister, your girls, the cashier at the corner store...etc.

Now if you have good friends then you really don't have nothing to worry about. But even a good friend can go bad if you're constantly boasting on your sexual fulfillment. Eventually someone is gonna start to wonder what if? Some of them are gonna be bold as hell. And some are just gonna be down right trifling. Can't begin to tell you the number of stories I hear of my best friend slept with my girl or man. Well guess what... If you didn't tell her how good it was she probably wouldn't want to see it for herself.

Or better yet, you do have a damn good friend who just listens and supports you and who your with. But you've told her all our business and now when I come around all she can do is smile at me. I'm wondering WTF, and come to find out she knows about the way I poured Moscato over your breast and sucked them dry. Yea awkward moment.

Now I'm a hypocrite on this subject because I'm definitely guilty of leaving a date and calling my girls up and spilling the beans about everything we did and the feelings that I have about the night, morning, or day. But honestly I shouldn't do it. The good thing for me though is that the majority of my friends are straight so I'm not worried about them crossing over to my side and trying out my beau at the moment. It still doesn't make it right though. Esp. cuz my friends are the ones to call her out when they meet her.

Regardless of the matter we are still gonna do it. I just say use caution while doing it. Be mindful of the outcomes that can occur as a result. Try to practice will power. What the hell, I know that even after this I'm still going to call up my friends and talk!! You're even going to catch a few stories in this blog so... Lmfao!!

Sexting

Her: What are you wearing?
Me: A wife beater, some purple boy shorts, and a pair of purple heels.
Her: Sounds sexy! You should send me a pic.
Me: Or I could send you a video with some visual graphics and sounds!

Oh yea you know exactly where this is going!!! Good old safe sexting! You know where you engage in sex via text message. It's a good way to practice safe sex and get yourself off at the same time!! Lol. Or even better a form of foreplay before the real fireworks begin later on that evening!

Now this is my question: When you're sexting are you actually performing the acts that you say you are or are you just bullshitting around and just saying shit? Me, myself, I'm guilty of both. There's been times where I was really horny enough to... well you know! I've gone so far as to have a full blown uh... hmm. And there's times when I'm just playing around and want to see just how far she will take the conversation.

The problem with sexting is that if you are actually performing, you have to wait minuets for a response. So its, text, wait, wait, wait, read, text, wait, wait, wait, read, and so on. Kinda kills the moment. But if she really knows what she's doing then even the moments in between can leave you hot and expectant. Anticipation is the equal to teasing. It's the watching but no touching pleasure of sex. *Daydreaming* Lol sorry slipped away for a sec. But it can also be the evil deal breaking turnoff if you're waiting too long between messages.

Hey here's a word to the wise: if your cheating don't leave the evidence in your phone!!! Yes texting is cheating. And sexting, well that's the almost as bad as going out and actually having sex with someone else. Could be worse depending on the types of things you're texting! So in conclusion, even when sexting you have to use protection. No sex is the best sex. But sexting is next after no sex. Just proceed with caution.

Studs vs. Femmes

So I was watching this documentary called "The Aggressives" for the first time and I became just a little bit offended. Don't get me wrong I loved the concept of it. The way they shadowed real women and told their stories of being out lesbians helps us in our acceptance with society. What I didn't like about the documentary is that they seemed to only address aggressiveness with studs. So are they saying that femmes can't be aggressive also?

By definition aggressive means assertive. I mean I would consider myself an aggressive femme.I'm very assertive. If I see someone I'm attracted to I'm capable of approaching them. I have several friends that feel the same way. Just because we don't dress boyish doesn't mean we don't meet the criteria. I thought the whole aggressive label described a lesbian as the one in a relationship who was most likely to take control. I date studs and femmes. I can totally take control in both situations. And have in both aspects.

Aggressiveness should not be what describes a woman from the outside appearance. That's what the labels: stud, femme, butch, stem, etc. are for. You can clearly look at one of us and tell by the way we dress what category we fall in. Well... usually. But if someone would actually come up to me and ask what do I identify myself as, my answer would be an aggressive femme. I mean that in all aspects of the description. Sexually, I'm not gonna put my business out there but let's say I don't just lay there. Mentally, I'm always thinking of ways to provide for my son, myself, and who I'm with. No I don't expect a stud to pay for everything we do. In fact more often then not I'm the one who pays. Physically I can handle my own. I know how to protect myself and if need be who I'm with. Don't let the pretty face and the curves fool you. I can throw down and have in my time.

So what I'm trying to figure out is if society thinks that studs are the only ones in the lesbian community that are aggressive. Do they not look at the femme on femme (or lipstick lesbian) relationships and not know that one of the two has to dominate the other? That goes even in heterosexual relationships. Someone has to dominate. And guess what I know a few heterosexual relationships where the woman is the one who wears the pants. Just saying.