Needing input

Hey everyone! I need to know what types of things you want to read about. Do you want a deeper look into my life? Do you want to read about the politics of the gay lifestyle? Maybe you want to see reviews of movies, books, or other blogs. Can I leave you with an inspirational thought, some words of wisdom, or a funny tidbit that no one really needs to know? Whatever it is please let me know. A good writer always excepts criticism and is willing to improve.

Stalkers

Seems the older I get and the more I improve my self-worth, the more stalkers I accumulate! I understand I am a quality woman. You know the type of woman most are looking for: down to earth, spontaneous, family oriented, can cook, clean, and still look good or even better with age!!! Don't want to sound conceited, (Lol) but that's me all the way!!! The problem is that while I was dating different women (well... I didn't even have to date some of them for them to keep coming back) they were making note of the type of woman I am and they simply got attached immediately.

Let's use this as an example. BTW this is on the for real! I work at a bar in downtown Atlanta. On the day of my birthday a woman comes in with one of her coworkers. She is obviously a lesbian because she is on the stud end of the spectrum. Now, I have served them their drinks and am killing time by talking to my coworker about my plans for the evening/ weekend. 'Ol girl, whom we will call her Sinclair, is all up in my business. When I mention going to lesbian bar, her little ears perk up and she starts to ask all sorts of personal questions. In the back of my mind I'm like you don't know me well enough to ask these questions, while my mouth is spitting out half truths and beating around the bush because I know she is building up to the ultimate question. She does. "Do you like women?"

Against my better judgement I say yes. Sinclair proceeds to ask me for how long? how many girlfriends I've had?, and am I seeing anyone now? Even after I tell her that yes I am dating a woman right now, she still says she wants to take me out. She passes me her number and then on the side offers me a job. Ugh. Now I must admit offering me a job was a slick move because I was half tempted to call her up on that. One thing I'm not though, is dumb.

I can't get rid of this chick now. She keeps coming to my job. Sitting at the bar for hours. I mean hours watching me work. She trys to hold conversations with me in between patrons and is still trying to convince me to go out with her. Tipping well I might add!

Why is this chick trying so hard to get at me? Hmm, well it could be because one of my coworkers spilled the beans about me. Yeah, I'm not so thrilled about that. She asked my coworker 50 questions about me. My coworker, not thinking twice about it, gave her all the answers she needed. It's been almost two months and I can't get rid of this lady. What do I do? Do I get a restraining order keeping her from coming to my job? Hmmm, then I won't get the benefit of her tips! I could simply ask her not to come so often and to not stay so long that it makes me uncomfortable when she is there. Hmmm, then I won't get the benefit of her tips! I could have someone else take over the bar completely while she is there so that she will leave. Hmmm, then I won't get the benefit of her tips!!! Lol. Seriously though just playing on the tipping thing. There are enough tips in the world to make me put up with someone I don't want to.

The question of the day is what do you do when you have a stalker? And in my case, what do you do when you have several stalkers? Yea followers it's more than one. Don't believe me? Ask my bosses, coworkers, and friends.

Most Likely to Succeed or Not to Succeed

So my Spelman 5 year rookie reunion is coming up in a few weeks. I'm trying to decide if I should go or not. The pros, seeing my girls, hanging out, reminiscing, and simply great times in a school I love. The cons, I'm a 27 year old mother with nothing to show for herself. I'm so far from where I thought I would be in life. The road does not seem to be coming to an end any time soon. Picture this: You're driving from Maine to California. I'm in Vermont! Lol see my frustration? My college friends are well on the road somewhere in Colorado, some in Vegas, and well hell, even some are living it up in L.A already. Me, I'm in lonely old Vermont doing who knows what because what in the world is there to do in Vermont?

Do we put too much pressure on ourselves when we set our time lines? Finish with school by 28. Starting a career by 29. Married by 30? And what about life's little pot holes or accidents that happen on the road to our destinations? I hate doubting my self-worth. I have put so much more work into my life overcoming obstacles and battling scenarios that the majority of Spelman sisters never had to deal with. Yet, I put so much emphasis on wanting their approval and meeting the success that both they and I have set for myself.

What does A have to say about my depression? Hmmm... well, she like many others whom I have asked has said that I can't compare my success (or lack there of in my case) to everyone else's. That I am right where God wants me to be in this moment. However, that doesn't stop my frustrations and my doubt within myself. Don't get me wrong, I am happy to have a job that pays my bills and takes care or my son's needs. But I would love to be showcasing my talents that has taken me 20 years of education and and 27 years of life to perfect to the best of my ability. Well... I guess I am in this blog huh?!!!

One thing that I have going for myself that I wouldn't change for the world is my beautiful son and A. They make living this life I live all worth while. In the words of Lauryn Hill: " Now the skies could fall, not even if my boss should call. The world just seems so very small. Cuz nothing even matters at all." So I'm going to hang up my insecurities, pin on my happy face, and embrace my Spelman sisters in all their success. All the while I will be waiting for mine to come, no matter how long it takes. I will never give up!

Can you love two people?

Hmm... The age old question of can you be in love with two people at one time? And if you can, can you love them both equally? Well let me start by saying you guys already know that the boo will be reading my blogs. Lol! So this blog is about a friend of mine. I'm not trying to cause any unnecessary problems in the relationship! Now this friend of mine is in love with two completely different women. She, like me, is a lesbian. Not that that's relevant considering this issue does apply to all sexualities and genders.

My friend, let's call her Shawn, has been in the dating game now for a year and a half. Shawn though, is a tough egg to crack emotionally. She does not love easily because she has been hurt ridiculously in the last few years. Somewhere around June, she met a woman online who was everything that she wanted and needed in a partner.(Please be on the look out for my: Finding Love Online blog coming soon!) The problem, well like I said before she does not love easily. Shawn simply pushed the woman aside and wrote her feelings off as the here and now infatuation. She kept dating other women, going out every weekend with a different chick, calling me up telling me about her adventures, but always for some reason comparing them to this woman she met in June. The June woman is still courting her. Taking her out and proving her self-worth to Shawn. Little did my friend know, she had fallen in love with the June woman and just refused to come to terms with it.

February rolls around and my friend starts dating another chick. This new chick knows all about the June woman and vise verse. Both have simply fallen completely head over hills for Shawn. The February woman has my girl wide open. Taking her out to do things that she never does. In doing this, she makes it hard for Shawn to go out with the June woman because she is commanding all of her time. So the June woman chalks it up as a loss and starts dating someone else. The problem is that now Shawn has finally come to terms with her feelings for the June woman.

Suppressing these feelings because she only wants the June woman to be happy in life, Shawn throws herself head first into her new relationship with the February woman. Problem is, now Shawn has fallen for the February woman. She is in love again! Yet she can't get this nagging feeling out of her system, her love for the now long gone June woman. My friend, my poor diluted friend who was closed off for over a year and a half now cannot commit to her new lover because she is in love with the old. Poor baby. What's your opinion? Or do you feel like me and think Shawn is simply infatuated with the here and now of her February lover and the shoulda, coulda, woulda's with the June?

Ok, I can't front, I know my girl. She is a sad case. I do feel like she is in love with one and has love for the other. The question is who is who? Who is the better choice? And is it too late for her if the one she truly loves is already in love with someone else?
BTW followers is there a time frame for love?

First Time Blog!!!

Well this is my first official blog!!! I'm excited about this new project of mine. So expect to find lots of pictures, lots of funny, sad, and crazy stories, and don't always believe everything you read!!! Lol yes a lot of this blog will be true life events,however... these true life events may not all be my life!!! I have some interesting friends with some interesting stories as well. So I may incorporate some of their life events and lessons as my own to entertain you. Your job is to decipher between them and figure which are my own and which are my friends!!! Lol hell you may not even care if they are my own or not but if you do have fun trying to figure it out. Now if you're one of my many friends or acquaintances then well you have the advantage cuz you will know. Just don't spoil it for everyone else.
Now here's the freebies... All of the following is absolutely true about me.
1. I am 27 years old.
2. I am a lesbian. Femme to be exact!! Yes and I am proud to say it. Lol (sorry in advance for my language but hell it's my blog right? Don't like it don't read it anymore!)
3. I have a beautiful baby boy. He is 3 going on 33. This boy is simply grown!! CTFU! From now on though, he will be referred to as Kris.
4. I am completely infatuated and falling in love with a woman I have only known for 2 months and loving every minute of it. From now on she will be referred to as A.
5. I am a bartender in downtown Atl.
6. I am a Spelman graduate. And am receiving a master's degree at Emory.
7. Now from here on out if anything that I want you to know is about the real life me I will simply say "But on the for real."
Try to see what is the truth about me or not. If you don't care simply enjoy the stories that I have to tell.