Where I always speak my mind and have interesting stories to tell!!!

August 16, 2012

The Benefit of Gay Adoption

I just want to share with you all a paper I wrote for a final in my language arts class this past semester. It is a very important subject to me and should be one to all the lesbian and gay community. I hope you enjoy. I have links to information contained here if anyone is interested. ----- All Children Need Love: The Benefits of Gay Adoption.---------------
So many children these days are abused and thrown to the side by families who don’t want them. There are few families in this country that will utilize the system of adoption; instead they vie for artificial insemination, surrogates, or having their own children. This still leaves several children to fend for themselves on streets, foster homes, and within the government system. It’s fair to say that when a child is part of a family that is loving and caring that the growth of that child is more likely to be positive than negative. If a gay or lesbian couple is capable of providing that child with the nurture and guidance that will help them exceed then why show bias to those couples, allowing the child to remain in a system that may end up being detrimental to their beings? There are concerns that having a child around a homosexual lifestyle may cause confusion and growth development within the child. Yet these same things are also a possibility in a heterosexual family. With the progress of personal views and beliefs in our country, homosexuality is more accepted than it was many years ago. Stereotyping or out casting those willing to step in and take on roles as guardians based on their sexuality limits the development of children in need of guidance and growth.   There are many children that need to be adopted within the U.S. Several factors are involved in the reasoning behind this. Teenage pregnancy, physical and sexual abuse, financial, and the unwanted child flat out are just a few of these factors. Many that want children have options to conceive their own child. However this still leaves thousands of children in the system without homes. The gay and lesbian community often utilizes the adoption method to fulfill their paternal urges. Stereotyping and casting aside their willingness to guide is considered unfair and bias. As a nation we should be more open to the commitment that the LGTB, lesbian gay transgender bisexual, community has put to into assisting adoption agencies with placing children in loving homes. Homosexual is “of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex,” (Merriam Webster, homosexual, 2012, Definition, para. 1). Many feel that homosexuality is learned or a choice, while others believe that it is genetic that a person is born with. Neither of these theories has been proven true. What we do know, is that the love generated in a same-sex relationship is no different than the love of a heterosexual relationship. Love is a strong affection or personal tie to another individual. As humans we are all capable of invoking this emotion, an emotion that is necessary to care for a child that is need of a family. Between 1999 and 2011there was 233,934 adoptions reported. There is no way to know how many of these adoptions were same-sex adoptions. There is also no way of knowing exactly how many kids there were in the foster care system at that time. What we do know is that not every child in the system had been adopted. Children need families to help develop personal values and gain confidence. The push against same-sex adoption is more about gay discrimination than it is of child welfare. But there are so many myths about gay adoption. These children simply need love. Some people seem to think that gay adoption poses an unsafe environment for children or that a gay household is a breeding ground that will teach children to be gay as well. However there are already many children living in gay households and children that are born into families of gay parents. According to the American Psychological Association Policy Statement on Sexual Orientation, Parents and Children, "there is no reliable evidence that homosexual orientation per se impairs psychological functioning. Second, beliefs that lesbian and gay adults are not fit parents have no empirical foundation" (A.P.A, 2005, para. 1). An unsafe environment is more so a place where abuse is taking place. These are environments that these children are torn from to begin with. A same-sex home does not fall under this guideline. There is no conclusive evidence that homosexuality is linked to one’s environment. Growing up in a gay household will not make a child gay. A consensus has developed among the medical, psychological, and social welfare communities that children raised by gay and lesbian parents are just as likely to be well-adjusted as those raised by heterosexual parents. Based on the nature of the evidence available in the field, Third District Court of Appeal State of Florida was satisfied in 2010 that the issue is so far beyond dispute that it would be irrational to hold otherwise; the best interests of children are not prohibiting by homosexual adoption (Third district of Appeal State of Florida, 2010, ¶ 4). If a parent is going to be assessed according to their sexual orientation it might also seem justified to assess them according to race, ethnicity or culture, income, age, religion, appearance, differing life style, or anything else that sets them apart form the “norm.” This is why applicants should be accepted based on their capacity to understand and meet the needs of a particular available child. Child placement decisions should be based on children’s specific needs and parent’s prospective ability to meet those needs. In some instances, the exclusions of homosexuals as adoptive parents mean that a child cannot be placed with a family. This leaves them vulnerable, sometimes never being placed in homes at all, and never learning the skills and values that we enable them to grow into successful adults. Even with all the evidence available to show that gay parents are just as eligible as straight parents, many fail to recognize this claim as factual. The constant argument is that children need both men and women as role models. When saying that having a parent of each sex is the only way to go we begin to forget about children who have only one parent. Whether the other parent died, abandoned their family when the child was an infant, or was never in the picture at all, there are millions of children in America being raised solely by a mother or solely by a father. Adolescents in these situations are being raised by one sex just as adolescents with two homosexual parents are, yet there is not nearly as much criticism for single- parent families as there is for homosexual-parent families. If one is going to criticize gay couples for not allowing their children to have role models of both sexes they might as well offer the same criticism to single mothers and fathers. At least children with two mothers or two fathers are receiving guidance and love from multiple parents rather than just one. Another common argument against gay adoption is that there simply hasn’t been enough research conducted to prove that the children raised by gay couples will be “fine”. But what is “fine”? Scientific studies have shown us that children who grow up with two gay or lesbian parents fare as well in emotional, cognitive, social, and sexual functioning as do children raised by heterosexual parents (Glenn 2). All scientific research conducted thus far shows no difference in development between the two groups of children either. All these studies are concluding that being raised by homosexual parents has no significant, detrimental effect on children. However, this type of research is still in its youth because the concept of gay adoption is still new. Adequate time has not yet passed to fully measure the lifelong effects of having homosexual parents. Truth is that down the road some issues may present themselves, but until that time, criticism of gay adoption is in any way justified. States that ban adoption by homosexual couples are prohibiting these children from being placed with a loving family. Rather than living in a nice home with two caring parents to raise them and guide them through life, these children will grow up with nobody to call Mom or Dad. The fact that there might be two people call Mom or two to call Dad shouldn’t matter. Just having someone there to take care of them and love them should be enough. There will be challenges; these children will face ridicule, and will not live a perfectly normal life. But whose life is normal? What does that word even mean? What is important is that if adopted, these children will have a shoulder to lean on and someone there to tell them its okay. They will always have someone to run to with arms wide open, ready to make the catch. They will know love. No matter what size, shape, color, or sex it comes in, love is a universal language capable of being expressed by anyone and needed by everyone. If gay and lesbian couples are capable of providing this love to a child, then why is their eligibility as parents questioned.

Studs: What's beneath their clothes?

Ok ladies! Here's a fun topic. We all love our studs. It's something about their swag. The way they dress, smell so good, and carry themselves, but somehow still manage to have that sense of femininity about them. Mmmm so sexy, just thinking about it makes me weak. I don't know about y’all but my girl is worse than me when it comes to getting dressed sometimes. She has to lay out all her clothes from her briefs and sports bra to her button up and J's. And even then she isn't guaranteed to wear what she lays out. What I'm curious to know is what these gentle-studs feel about their personal image based upon what kind of garments she wears under the American Eagle that she rocks. I have dated all different types of women. There are women who wear boxers and sports bras strictly. Women who mix and match boxers, briefs, panties, bras and sports bras based on their moods. Some studs who Victoria Secret it up underneath their Polo. Or studs like my woman who wears the tight ass boxer briefs that cling to her ass when they sag. And on most days don't rock a bra unless she absolutely has to. That shit is such a turn on! Sorry got off the subject just slightly. But what I want to know is if what they wear under their clothes makes a difference. I don't like to look at studs as men, but is it the more manly the boxer the more masculine the woman? I've been a lesbian for all my life as the majority of you know. Yet this is something I have yet to figure out. I mean is there any way to figure it out? Or is it truly about the comfort level that a woman has. Femmes let's be honest with ourselves, thongs aren't always the most comfortable things in the world. I mean half the time I wear one I feel like I have a wedgie all night long. Which brings me to something else, Studs if your woman asked you to dress in Vicky Secrets and you normally don't would you? I mean if you're in a lifelong relationship I think you should. Lol I caught my girl dressed in one of my bras playing around before!! But truthfully it was so funny and cute to me that I wanted her more than I ever had watching her walk around topless. Studs we love you no matter what you wear under your clothes. But please someone let me in on the secret. What's up with the underwear that y'all wear? Does it say something extra about your personalities? Should I expect that because you wear panties that you're more open in the bedroom? Or does it even matter at all? Period point blank there is nothing more seductive than a woman's body period. So no matter what you put on I'm all game. Wait, no I'm not allowed to say things like that anymore. Lol. Femmes what do you like to see your stud in?